Saturday 15 March 2014

Summer Camping Dreams

It has been another few crazy weeks!  I have been working almost full time hours for the last two weeks (this working thing is for the birds!) but as the kids start talking about summer adventures they would like to have, I think of the $$$ that will be required!  Of course as we talk about things that we would like to do, we reminisce about past adventures!
Over the years we have had many different children live with us and a few of them are hard to forget!  Many of our summers have been spent with me packing up the kids and the gear and heading out solo with them! On one camping trip we decided to travel with another mom and her kids.  As we were heading out with car top carriers and vehicles loaded to the nuts, my friends' car top carrier blew open as we were driving on the highway heading to Bird's Hill Park.  We pulled over and two of the older kids decided they were going to chase the items that blew out!  Nothing like seeing two teenagers run through traffic driving 100 km/h on the highway!  Well they managed to save the day!  They collected the items and off we went again!  Once we got out to the campground, found our site and were starting to set up tents (great idea solo with 5 kids and a few of their friends!).  Of course there is always one child who just needs to be a pain and this trip was no different! We are trying to set up tents and he has to pee!  I can see the bathrooms from our site but don't trust him enough to go solo and everybody is tired of his shenanigans during the ride out so nobody wanted to take him. I finally lost my patience and told him that he was a boy "just go pee in the bush!" and off he went.  When I turned around there he was sitting in the biggest plot of poison ivy I have ever seen!  All he could say is, "You always tell me to pee sitting down!"  Well luckily for him he didn't get poison ivy and learned that he could pee standing up when he's outdoors!
On another camping trip with this child we were at Lilac Resort with water slides, hot tub, playground etc.  It was a hot day and the pool area was packed.  All the kids wanted to go to different pool areas so I sent the older ones to one pool, the middle ones to the one pool that I could keep my eye on and our little trouble maker to the hot tub.  The hot tub was packed!!!  I told him he could go and I would watch him.  In he went, shortly after out everyone came!  As one lady walked by I overheard her say, "Can you believe that!  What child openly admits that he peed in the hot tub!" I was mortified!  There was my little guy with a huge grin on his face, all alone in the hot tub!!  He was a handful but there was never a dull moment with him around!
Another favorite camping place is Clear Lake.  A few years ago our children read the signs on the beach that told about Duck Lice.  That was it!  The kids decided that they were never going to swim at the beach again! In the following years we rented a cabin to stay at with a pool so they could go swimming.  As the lady said when I phoned,  "The cabins are rustic" and I replied, "It's better than sleeping on the ground".  As we pulled up to the cottage we noticed that there was a plywood walkway over a "moat" of water to get into the cabin.  Mud everywhere else! Apparently the water main in front of the cabin had broken earlier, the owners apologized for the inconvenience and hoped that it would be fixed in the next day or two!  Oh well, our adventure began!  In the cabin all of the bedding was pristine white (not so cool for a "family friendly" place) and in our welcome package a note that if they were to become excessively dirty there would be an extra charge for cleaning.  I knew that we would be paying the extra cleaning charge, no doubt.  The next few days were uneventful (as uneventful they could be with our crew!).  On the fourth day I was dismayed when it was bedtime and I went to put her to bed but couldn't open the door!  It was locked!! I figured I would just get a butter knife and unlock it, no biggie. WRONG! The lock was so "rustic" that there was no way to unlock it from the hallway.  I sent one of the older kids to the office to see if we could get someone to help but there was a note saying to call .... if anything was needed.  We called the number and left a message.  An hour later we still hadn't heard from anyone, I called again and left another message.  By this time the little one was in complete meltdown mode!  I'm sure the entire town could hear her screaming!  I sent our 12 year old outside to see if he could get in through the window which of course entailed standing in the mud!  He came back in and said he could probably fit but he the window was too high for him to get to.  I went out stood in the mud and tried to "boost" him up!  By this time I could see people in the neighboring cabins looking out there windows at us wondering what was going on! We finally decided to get the brand new, light colored picnic table and drag it over to the window so he could stand on it to get through the window. As he was half in and half out of the window he realized that it was a long way to the floor!  I told him to do whatever he needed to do, let's just get this over and done with!  Not even thinking about the wonderful combination of nice, white linens and shoes that had just been in the mud!  So in he goes, walks across the bed to the door and quickly unlocks it.  My hero!  Out of the bedroom I hear, "Ummm mom".  As I walked into the room all I could see clear as a bell was four muddy footprints across the not so pristine bedding! Ooops!  Peace soon fell as the exhausted screaming toddler went to bed which made it all worth it!  Upon check out the owners asked us how our stay was and if there was anything they could improve for next time.  I suggested updating the doorknobs and explained our little adventure.  As they laughingly apologized, I explained that it is hard to take my crew anywhere solo without some sort of "disaster" happening and in the end we all had fun!  When they asked if we would be back next year, I said absolutely as long as there were new door knobs!  Guess what!  The following year there was new knobs!
As I sit and dream of summer (everyone keeps saying it's coming!) I can't help but get sentimental about the good 'ol days knowing that as my children get older there won't be as many "family trips". What will I ever do?!


Monday 3 March 2014

The Takers

As "My Year of 40" keeps plugging along I have taken (or stolen, mostly in the bathroom with the exhaust fan on so I can't hear THEM!) to reflect.  One item of reflection is the people in my life.  I started with my "friends".  I quickly realized that some people that I called friends really weren't.  They were "takers", you know the kind of people I'm referring to: the ones that only call when they want something, the ones that you offer once but they keep taking and taking and taking (pretty soon a whole year of feeding 4 extra people twice a month without so much as a thank-you, never mind offering to pay or GASP .... return the favour has passed!)

I realized that when I talk to some people I can feel the life being sucked out of me.  The negativity, the championing of those who don't deserve and the never ending complaining of the unfairness of their life. Don't get me wrong, I totally vent to my friends frequently but I also take a turn being the "sounding board". It needs to be a two way street in order for people to not feel used.  The "takers" never reciprocate and its exhausting just thinking about having to talk to them (you think of every excuse possible to avoid having to talk to them!).

My personality makes it difficult for me to say NO, I'm a fixer and a pleaser.  This year I told myself that I will respect myself more and learn to say no.  This is the YEAR OF NO and baby I'm on a roll!  I'm putting more thought into my decisions and am saying yes to the things that I want to and no to the things I don't (which doesn't include those things that sound like a good idea at the time!).  I am enjoying the feeling of freedom that saying No is giving me (once the feeling of guilt is over that is).

This past week I had the pleasure of receiving a heartfelt offer of thanks, gratitude and appreciation from a friend.  Words cannot express how much I needed to hear "Thanks for all you've done for us!" last week. It's amazing how those words can warm my heart and add a bounce to my step!  She made my day!

Another goal of this year will be to show gratitude and appreciation to those who help me out in even the slightest way.  I hope that those in my life never feel "used" by me (and please tell me if you do! I will fix it!).

On that note I want to say Thanks to all those who I'm blessed to have in my life!  I'm pretty sure you know who you are!


Sunday 2 March 2014

Crazy Going Slowly Am I!

The last two weeks have definitely been crazy and challenging!  Our 16 year old has been pushing boundaries to the extreme.  As if last semester wasn't crazy enough with her not turning in ANY assignments and then been given the chance to make up the ENTIRE semester in the last week!  A phone call to the school explaining how I felt they were doing her a disservice by giving her this opportunity (anybody know of a post-secondary institution that allows students to do this?) and how it just reinforces her behavior.  I also told them that I don't think that she should be granted her credits (natural consequences) but of course they did!  I was so frustrated!  How can we teach her to be a contributing, responsible member of society if society is always bending to her!  New semester starts and here's her chance for a new start.  Well it went something like this, "I forgot it was Monday", "I have a spare (funny that's not what her schedule says, which means she broke one of the family rules - If you are going to lie, it has to be believable!)" and the best yet - "I was in class the school must be lying".  Last week she only missed 6 classes (that I know of!) so I guess that's not too bad!

The 13 year old was injured in a basketball game while we were gone and after a visit to the walk in was told "no activity" for 10-12 days which was super awesome considering I had just paid an exorbitant amount of money on a football training camp that he now CAN'T participate in!!!  A nice reprieve from the 6 days a week driving him to and from games etc but a kick in the now empty pocketbook at the same time.

Our oldest headed out of town for two weeks leaving behind her dog (her baby) and her rabbit for me to care for, with a huge list of instructions (the ultimate trust test!).  Considering how allergic I am to the rabbit I wasn't too sure how this was going to go!  The first few days the rabbit wasn't too bad (formerly known as "killer bun bun") until I texted my daughter to say we are almost of out of pellets.  Well I found out that he only gets pellets once a week, that was the end of his being nice!  I could hear him thinking every day I went in there to feed him his hay and apples, "I don't want this crap!  Where's my pellets?" as he attacked me with his claws! Return of killer bun bun!

Looks can be so deceiving!

As a foster parent there are a few things that we never say aloud (or try not to think!) and that is, "Things are going smoothly" because POOF! a bomb will drop!  Birth mom is considering moving back to the city and wants increased access to the kids!  Lucky for us we have a terrific social worker who is on the same page as me and will make decisions based on the kids' best interest.

The youngest one has taken on my saying (which I thoroughly regret saying!) and has been spending time in the "take a break" chair for announcing (with head shake and hip out) "I win, you lose" for EVERYTHING. This past week saying it full of attitude and SNOT!  We made it to this point of the winter with no major illness but it has come to an end!

Little one and I fell hard this week, fever, cough and snot!  We were one hot, sexy mess!  By the end of the week the dreaded MAN COLD had arrived with the most terrifying words to any mom and wife, "I'm sick". THE END OF THE WORLD HAS COME!!!!