Saturday 25 January 2014

What a crappy week (literally!)

Another week has flown by!  Two kids to the Dr's, took my mom to the Dr. and a trip to the Dr. for me sums up the appointments for the week!  Volunteered in the kids school for 3 half days and a full day track meet, long conversation with school social worker as well as a teacher (Natural Consequences, I say)!  A night with friends card-making, basketball practices/games, Guide/Pathfinder meeting, a night on the bus driving 9 teenage girls all over the city for fun followed by an all day Girl Guide Council meeting but the most memorable day ever was of course the "shitty" day!

Thursday was going to be a hectic day and I knew it!  First school pick up, second school pick up and home we go, unload and into the house we go when a little voice says, "Mommy where's Z?" Back in the truck, drive around the corner to the daycare and pick up Z who of course hasn't pooped yet, back home and to the potty we go.  In the kitchen starting supper, listening to home reading when I hear, "Mommy come wipe my bum?" to which I say, "In a minute!"  Literally a minute later I came around the corner and just about threw up!  There is our 3 year old who had indeed pooped but it was everywhere!  In her hair, nose, ears, from her elbow to the tips of her fingers, the wall (apparently she needed to lean on it!) anywhere else she could touch within a 3 foot radius. It had been a few days since she had done that so I had my fingers crossed that it wasn't going to happen again.  Off to the bath we went, where the screaming began!  Z screaming because she didn't want a bath and me screaming at J to stir supper so it wouldn't burn because we had 7 minutes to get out the door to his basketball game! Scrub A Dub Dub!  We made it to the game on time, without burning supper!

After the game I quickly went home to pick up my supper, drop J off before heading off to work!  When I arrived at work something was smelling a little funky to say the least.  When I asked if everything was OK all my co-worker had to do was look at me for me to know that I was going to be taking one for the team! There was a major clean up to be done!  Enter the double gloved, shirt over the nose improvised Hazmat suit with disinfectant!   After work I headed home and as I entered the house the dog came running over and started to lick my pant leg.  I looked down to see a smear of poop on my pants!!! OMG!  First thought? Was this poop from home and I went to a basketball game with poop on my leg or was this work poop?  Second thought - Oh No my new pants!

All in a day at the Funny Farm!

Saturday 18 January 2014

Tooth Fairy Drama

Well it has definitely been a week that I have to remind myself that I love my children!!!  So glad the week is over!

Three of our kids have been to the dentist in the last 2 weeks (one of them twice!) which led me to think about the beginning of the Tooth Fairy Saga.  It all started back in February 2013 when while chewing on a dog toy K "lost" her first tooth.  With many tears and lots of blood (and her brother puking behind me while trying to calm her!) we came to the conclusion that she must have swallowed her tooth!  She was a bit traumatized about the whole experience!  To add to the trauma one of the other kids told her (kind souls that they are!) that the Tooth Fairy wasn't going to come because we couldn't find the tooth!

Fast forward a few months and she has been hanging onto a loose tooth for weeks (no way that tooth is coming out!).  We are in Minneapolis for a family vacation (more like one of those - get in the car, sit down, be quiet, we are going to have FUN trips) and are checking out the Peeps store when all of a sudden I hear a scream!  The tooth has come out and she is standing there holding it!  We are so excited!  We tell her the Tooth Fairy is going to come if she puts the tooth under her pillow, which didn't go over so well!  Since we were at a hotel we decided not to push it, instead I put it in my wallet and held onto it thinking that maybe next time she looses a tooth we can put that one under the pillow too!

I held onto that tooth for 4 months before the next tooth trauma started.  Her tooth was so loose and she was refusing to eat etc etc etc!  Absolute craziness!  One night at supper she bit on the wrong side (in her excitement for tacos!) and there was blood on the taco.  Everybody around the table stopped to see what her reaction was going to be but she didn't react!!! PHEW crisis averted!  Until the oldest of the group looks at her and says, "Is that blood on your taco?"  Well that's it!  Game over, can't finish eating now!

Every time I asked to look at her tooth she would say, "Don't pull it out!".  This went on for a few weeks when finally one day I reached in and yanked it out!  No blood, no pain, done!  I had no idea what I had just started!!

Let the negotiations begin!  First rounds we just suggested that she put the teeth under her pillow.  Very loud reply, "I DON'T WANT NO FAIRY SNEAKING INTO MY ROOM!" OK so no teeth under the pillow!  Next step - the mailbox?  The response,  "That's right outside my bedroom window!"  Okie Dokie, next?  How about putting the tooth into an envelope and putting it on the dining room table?  "The Tooth Fairy comes into the house? NO!"  We finally convinced her (with the help of our Monday night daughter) that we could put the teeth in an envelope and put it by the back door, "that way the fairy doesn't have to come into the house, she can just reach in and grab it".  PHEW, another crisis averted!  All was good until 4:30 am when she came up the stairs screaming, "I changed my mind!  I don't want the fairy to come!".  We headed downstairs to see if the Tooth Fairy had come and she had!!!  She was very happy with the two loonies that was left but all she could say was, "The Tooth Fairy doesn't have to come again, right mommy?" Oh well maybe next time!

Fast forward to this week and another tooth falls out, very calmly she gets an envelope, puts the tooth in it and leaves it by the back door.  All done!  She has come so far in the last year!!

Next stop the dental specialist where as the dentist put it "they will have to take 2 teeth out" so glad that he said it in front of her!  It was like verbal diarrhea, "How are they going to take my teeth out?  Why?  What do they do with the teeth after they take them out?  Will I have to have a needle when they take them out?  What do you mean take my teeth out?  Can I have pizza for supper?"  Yep that's how conversations roll in our house!

Til next time!

Sunday 12 January 2014

Christmas 2013 Bus Ride

Many people have heard my stories about my grandma but for those of you who haven't heard them let me start by describing my grandma to you.  When people talk about grandma's in general, many have visions of sweet little old ladies who bake cookies and play bridge.  REALITY CHECK! My grandma is 4'8" tall, 80 lbs (sopping wet!) and swears like a sailor (with a British accent to boot!).  She is very old fashioned (when it comes to "those" people), she talks about body parts that no grandchild should every hear about and has not a G rated bone in her body!  We love her dearly!  

In the spring of 2013 she had one of her legs amputated just under the knee.  She spent many weeks in the hospital with me (aka "the cranky granddaughter", "the boss") visiting as much as possible which sometimes was not enough!  Although she did mellow out a little bit after they realized that she was a heavy smoker prior to being admitted (and put her on her "anti cranky patch" as she called it!), she was still a spitfire!  This life-changing event meant that she could no longer live on her own and thus began the process of moving into a nursing home.  When she did move into the home she was not impressed with the ratio of men (12) to women (85) but figured that she had a pretty good chance of meeting Mr. Right with her charm and wit!  I will save those stories for a later date!

The week before Christmas I went to the nursing home for a visit (to ease my guilt of not having been in a few weeks).  I was wearing my new winter scarf that I had fallen in love with.  It had 3 snowmen on it and when you pushed the button it sang and lit up to the beat of the music.  I showed my grandma how you squeezed the button and off it went!  OMG!  She laughed, the deep belly laugh that I have never heard before!  She laughed until the tears rolled down her cheeks!  What a glorious moment!  I apologized to the staff as I left that day, as I left the scarf in my grandma's hands!  One of the reasons for going was to explain to her that the following week I was going to borrow the bus from work and take her to see the Christmas lights.  She of course said she didn't want to go see the lights but changed her tune when I told her that my dad (her Teddy) was going to be there!  She wasn't sure if she would be "allowed" to go but I told her that wouldn't be a problem (the staff/residents would probably appreciate the break).

I phoned the home the day of to remind them of us coming and found out that my grandma was refusing to go.  I said that we will come and see what we can do!  When we arrived she was for sure in a tizzy but my mom and I convinced her to go!  As we came out of the nursing home and started towards the bus my grandma piped up, "What the hell is that?" and I replied that it was a wheelchair bus.  She looked at me and said, "Who the hell is going to drive that?"  I explained to her that I was going to drive it.  She looked at me like I had 2 heads and exclaimed, "God help me!"  After we loaded her onto the bus, off we went!  The whole gang had a great time!  When we dropped her off my mom said, "Isn't Tamara a good driver?" and she actually agreed! It was a great way to spend time with her (whether she liked it or not!).
 

Love this woman!
The Whole Fam Jam including grandparents and the Monday Night Daughter

What a wonderful way to kick off the holidays!


Friday 10 January 2014

Welcome to "Daily Life At The Funny Farm"

So here goes!  My first ever blog post!  This is an adventure that I decided to embark on for the year I turn 40!

As many of you know my life can be a little crazy!  Our 6 kids keep me hopping!  Right now our 3 1/2 year old is the most stubborn child on the face of the earth when it comes to potty training!  She spends hours in a day sitting on the potty waiting for the elusive "poop".  You see we were pretty much potty trained in September and started pre-school, had a great time and then regressed!  This soon became our life!  This week she has had a few comments that have made me leave the room to avoid laughing in front of her which of course would just encourage her!  Sitting on the potty and out of the blue she states, "This is useless you know.  I am NOT going to poop on this potty".  Good to know where we stand on this topic!!

Our 6 year old has recently discovered her love of Thrift Stores!  She comes home weekly with her treasures that she has found with her respite worker.  This weeks find; a dog purse (which is half the size of her), a monster truck minus the remote and a bikini top.  What do these three things have in common?  We have no idea but "they're cool, right mom?"  Who could argue with that!?

The 10 year old has discovered Skip Bo and Solitaire recently.  The entire family tries to avoid him as soon as they see him coming with a deck of cards!  That game lasts forever!  Brings back memories of the group home that I used to work at when my entire shift would be spent playing Skip Bo (I always lost!). Those were the good old days!

The Basketball season is in full force with 3 practices and 2 games a week (between league and school) which makes for a little more shuffling in the house.  Add in the "Can I go to the Y?",  which usually ends up being a 9 hour day ending with "Can you pick me (and 2 of my friends up) up?" after I have my p.j.'s on!  Really wish this one would ride the bus (or the Loser Cruiser as he calls it) more often!

We welcomed back our wonderful cleaning lady this week after a few months hiatus (felt really sorry for her for having to clean that up!). One happy Momma in the clean shower this morning!

The dog only peed on the floor twice this week, only one epic failure in the cooking department (nobody said I had to be a good cook!), the craft room (aka crap room) is clean (there is a table in there!) and scrapbooking with Tannis tonight!  All round a great week!