The Takers

As "My Year of 40" keeps plugging along I have taken (or stolen, mostly in the bathroom with the exhaust fan on so I can't hear THEM!) to reflect.  One item of reflection is the people in my life.  I started with my "friends".  I quickly realized that some people that I called friends really weren't.  They were "takers", you know the kind of people I'm referring to: the ones that only call when they want something, the ones that you offer once but they keep taking and taking and taking (pretty soon a whole year of feeding 4 extra people twice a month without so much as a thank-you, never mind offering to pay or GASP .... return the favour has passed!)

I realized that when I talk to some people I can feel the life being sucked out of me.  The negativity, the championing of those who don't deserve and the never ending complaining of the unfairness of their life. Don't get me wrong, I totally vent to my friends frequently but I also take a turn being the "sounding board". It needs to be a two way street in order for people to not feel used.  The "takers" never reciprocate and its exhausting just thinking about having to talk to them (you think of every excuse possible to avoid having to talk to them!).

My personality makes it difficult for me to say NO, I'm a fixer and a pleaser.  This year I told myself that I will respect myself more and learn to say no.  This is the YEAR OF NO and baby I'm on a roll!  I'm putting more thought into my decisions and am saying yes to the things that I want to and no to the things I don't (which doesn't include those things that sound like a good idea at the time!).  I am enjoying the feeling of freedom that saying No is giving me (once the feeling of guilt is over that is).

This past week I had the pleasure of receiving a heartfelt offer of thanks, gratitude and appreciation from a friend.  Words cannot express how much I needed to hear "Thanks for all you've done for us!" last week. It's amazing how those words can warm my heart and add a bounce to my step!  She made my day!

Another goal of this year will be to show gratitude and appreciation to those who help me out in even the slightest way.  I hope that those in my life never feel "used" by me (and please tell me if you do! I will fix it!).

On that note I want to say Thanks to all those who I'm blessed to have in my life!  I'm pretty sure you know who you are!