The Summer of the Real Man

I can't believe that it is almost the end of April!!!  The snow is almost all gone, the kids have gotten to play outside and there is less than 2 months of school left!

This summer my friend Grace and I are taking a "bucket list" trip!  We are heading to London, the birth place of my grandma!  What started out as a Girl Guide trip grew into a trip with a friend that I am so thankful to Grace for agreeing to go with me! A big thank you to Sylvia and Annie who are taking the little ones for the 13 days we are gone, couldn't have done it without you!  Grace and I have had many adventures together through the years but I think this will be the biggest so far!  The countdown has been on since October when we booked our airfare!  We decided to throw in a side trip to Scotland.  We have booked our The Making of Harry Potter (which has precipitated the power re-reading of the books and first time watching the movies!  Damn ADHD makes it hard to sit still for a 3 hour movie!), Paris day trip, Bath/Stonehenge/Windsor Castle Tour, London Pass with Transit and the major accomplishment "Coronation Street Set Tour".  Only 75 more days to go!

Recently our 20 year old daughter had her wisdom teeth pulled.  It made for a long few days of eating jello and slurpees! While it was a few hard, long days it was an indicator of what was coming for our 6 year old who is terrified of the tooth fairy, dentist and anything that is related and who by chance is having dental surgery in 10 days!  We've come to the conclusion that we can't tell her about it until we are on the way there in hopes that I will be able to get her there!  I think that the copious amounts of slurpee may be the only saving grace to the entire experience!

Our 6 year old is a character as many of you know!  She is well known for her lack of "filter" if it pops into her head, it's out of her mouth before she can stop it!  She has the voice of a 70 year old smoker and everything she says is at 180 decibels!  A couple summers ago we were driving down the road and we came to a red light.  As we were stopped there a guy on a motorcycle pulled up beside us when out of the back of the van she pipes up with a sense of wonder, "Mom that's a REAL man, right?" I just about peed my pants!  I asked her what she meant and she explained that, "only REAL men drive motorcycles".  Well off we went when the light turned green thinking that would be the end of that.  Little did I know that every time she saw a motorcycle or scooter she would say, "Look mom a real man!".  It was all fun and games until one day she saw a woman driving a bright pink scooter and said, "That's not a man!  How come she gets to drive that?".  We explained that not only men could drive motorcycles but she didn't believe us!  All summer long, every where we went she would pop out that phrase until everyone in the family was saying it too!  Fast forward to a few weeks ago when we are on our way home from swimming lessons and out of her mouth pops, "Look mom, summers coming, there's a real man!"  This kid is going to be the death of me!  Never a dull moment when she's around!

The "REAL" Man

Hope you enjoyed this little story!  I'm hoping that things will settle down soon so that I can blog more often!

Wonder Woman does not exist in this house!

Wow!  It seems like forever since I have written a blog!  Time flies at the Funny Farm!  I can manage to say that we survived Spring Break (barely but we did!) and can't wait until the kids go back to school tomorrow :)

We have had a hectic few weeks around here!  I have had some phenomenal moments and some down right crazy ones that I will share!  Here goes!

A couple of years ago I had to make a tough decision based on what was right for my kids (even though it is a huge pain in the butt!).  I pulled my son from our neighborhood school to a school outside of our neighborhood in order for him to be in a more positive situation.  Smaller classes with multi-age classrooms so that his disability didn't stand out as much, more welcoming (both staff and students) and a generally more accepting place to be for so many hours of his day. This meant that for the next 10 years I will be driving kids to and from this school (trying to avoid having too many schools on the go!) which drastically cuts down my employment opportunities. This year he is in Grade 5 and is loving it! In February he competed in the Manitoba Special Olympics Winter Games and did fabulous!  He was so proud of his 2-1st place and 1-2nd place ribbon!  He was even more impressed when Andrew Ladd (Winnipeg Jets) presented the ribbons to him!  He couldn't stop talking about it!  A few weeks ago his teacher pulled me aside after school to share a story with me.  She went on to tell me that our son had brought his ribbons to school to share with his classmates.  He spoke confidently about his events and what he did to earn them.  She then shared with me about one boy who said; "Aren't the Special Olympics for retards (Gosh I hate that word!)?"  The teacher took this opportunity to explain how that word isn't a word that is used etc etc as well as what she knew about Special Olympics.  When another child in his class piped up and said that our son didn't belong there. She was so impressed with the fact that the other kids in the class don't see our son as being any different than the rest of them and that they now have a better understanding of disabilities.  She used this opportunity to educate the children as well as to discuss everyone's uniqueness.  Having known the background for us being at that school she felt it was important for me to hear that the kids don't see our son as being any different than them which is all we ever really wanted for him.  A total warm fuzzy moment that reinforced the decision I made.

Over the past few weeks we have been short staffed at the two agencies that I work casually at which has resulted in me working full-time hours (and then some!).  I have learned several things from the past few weeks; 1) Working full-time and managing a house of 8 is Mission Impossible, 2) Wonder Woman does not exist in this house!, 3) I live with a bunch of slobs who refuse to clean up after themselves, 4) I just get pissy and clean up myself which has resulted in a disgusting house because I have been working instead of cleaning, 5) House Elves really are myths and 6) After working a 20 hour day (not one of my brighter moments) that I am no longer 20!

My 6 year old also discovered one of my many talents that even I wasn't aware of!  In the process of cleaning the house one day (many moons ago!) I had tucked my phone into my bra with the radio streaming. When she came around the corner and asked "Where is that coming from?"  and by method of intruding in my "bubble" announced that it was coming from my chest by saying, "You've got magic boobs!" with her big blue eyes wide!  I had to turn away to avoid laughing in front of her.  Another great attribute to list on my resume!

I had the wonderful experience of seeing that one of the ladies I support has a better sex life than I do after being locked out of work one night!  She was kind enough to invite me into her apartment and when she announced that I was there all her boyfriend could say was, "Ummm I have no pants on!"  They have very lovely carpet in the hallway is all I'm going to say!

After spending the weekend at a Scrapbooking Retreat refueling my spirit, relaxing with friends and learning some incredible (albeit outside of my comfort zone!) techniques, I come home covered in glitter (damn stuff, never goes away!) and ready to face what this week may bring my way!  May the force be with you my friends as we head into our next adventures!

Summer Camping Dreams

It has been another few crazy weeks!  I have been working almost full time hours for the last two weeks (this working thing is for the birds!) but as the kids start talking about summer adventures they would like to have, I think of the $$$ that will be required!  Of course as we talk about things that we would like to do, we reminisce about past adventures!
Over the years we have had many different children live with us and a few of them are hard to forget!  Many of our summers have been spent with me packing up the kids and the gear and heading out solo with them! On one camping trip we decided to travel with another mom and her kids.  As we were heading out with car top carriers and vehicles loaded to the nuts, my friends' car top carrier blew open as we were driving on the highway heading to Bird's Hill Park.  We pulled over and two of the older kids decided they were going to chase the items that blew out!  Nothing like seeing two teenagers run through traffic driving 100 km/h on the highway!  Well they managed to save the day!  They collected the items and off we went again!  Once we got out to the campground, found our site and were starting to set up tents (great idea solo with 5 kids and a few of their friends!).  Of course there is always one child who just needs to be a pain and this trip was no different! We are trying to set up tents and he has to pee!  I can see the bathrooms from our site but don't trust him enough to go solo and everybody is tired of his shenanigans during the ride out so nobody wanted to take him. I finally lost my patience and told him that he was a boy "just go pee in the bush!" and off he went.  When I turned around there he was sitting in the biggest plot of poison ivy I have ever seen!  All he could say is, "You always tell me to pee sitting down!"  Well luckily for him he didn't get poison ivy and learned that he could pee standing up when he's outdoors!
On another camping trip with this child we were at Lilac Resort with water slides, hot tub, playground etc.  It was a hot day and the pool area was packed.  All the kids wanted to go to different pool areas so I sent the older ones to one pool, the middle ones to the one pool that I could keep my eye on and our little trouble maker to the hot tub.  The hot tub was packed!!!  I told him he could go and I would watch him.  In he went, shortly after out everyone came!  As one lady walked by I overheard her say, "Can you believe that!  What child openly admits that he peed in the hot tub!" I was mortified!  There was my little guy with a huge grin on his face, all alone in the hot tub!!  He was a handful but there was never a dull moment with him around!
Another favorite camping place is Clear Lake.  A few years ago our children read the signs on the beach that told about Duck Lice.  That was it!  The kids decided that they were never going to swim at the beach again! In the following years we rented a cabin to stay at with a pool so they could go swimming.  As the lady said when I phoned,  "The cabins are rustic" and I replied, "It's better than sleeping on the ground".  As we pulled up to the cottage we noticed that there was a plywood walkway over a "moat" of water to get into the cabin.  Mud everywhere else! Apparently the water main in front of the cabin had broken earlier, the owners apologized for the inconvenience and hoped that it would be fixed in the next day or two!  Oh well, our adventure began!  In the cabin all of the bedding was pristine white (not so cool for a "family friendly" place) and in our welcome package a note that if they were to become excessively dirty there would be an extra charge for cleaning.  I knew that we would be paying the extra cleaning charge, no doubt.  The next few days were uneventful (as uneventful they could be with our crew!).  On the fourth day I was dismayed when it was bedtime and I went to put her to bed but couldn't open the door!  It was locked!! I figured I would just get a butter knife and unlock it, no biggie. WRONG! The lock was so "rustic" that there was no way to unlock it from the hallway.  I sent one of the older kids to the office to see if we could get someone to help but there was a note saying to call .... if anything was needed.  We called the number and left a message.  An hour later we still hadn't heard from anyone, I called again and left another message.  By this time the little one was in complete meltdown mode!  I'm sure the entire town could hear her screaming!  I sent our 12 year old outside to see if he could get in through the window which of course entailed standing in the mud!  He came back in and said he could probably fit but he the window was too high for him to get to.  I went out stood in the mud and tried to "boost" him up!  By this time I could see people in the neighboring cabins looking out there windows at us wondering what was going on! We finally decided to get the brand new, light colored picnic table and drag it over to the window so he could stand on it to get through the window. As he was half in and half out of the window he realized that it was a long way to the floor!  I told him to do whatever he needed to do, let's just get this over and done with!  Not even thinking about the wonderful combination of nice, white linens and shoes that had just been in the mud!  So in he goes, walks across the bed to the door and quickly unlocks it.  My hero!  Out of the bedroom I hear, "Ummm mom".  As I walked into the room all I could see clear as a bell was four muddy footprints across the not so pristine bedding! Ooops!  Peace soon fell as the exhausted screaming toddler went to bed which made it all worth it!  Upon check out the owners asked us how our stay was and if there was anything they could improve for next time.  I suggested updating the doorknobs and explained our little adventure.  As they laughingly apologized, I explained that it is hard to take my crew anywhere solo without some sort of "disaster" happening and in the end we all had fun!  When they asked if we would be back next year, I said absolutely as long as there were new door knobs!  Guess what!  The following year there was new knobs!
As I sit and dream of summer (everyone keeps saying it's coming!) I can't help but get sentimental about the good 'ol days knowing that as my children get older there won't be as many "family trips". What will I ever do?!

The Takers

As "My Year of 40" keeps plugging along I have taken (or stolen, mostly in the bathroom with the exhaust fan on so I can't hear THEM!) to reflect.  One item of reflection is the people in my life.  I started with my "friends".  I quickly realized that some people that I called friends really weren't.  They were "takers", you know the kind of people I'm referring to: the ones that only call when they want something, the ones that you offer once but they keep taking and taking and taking (pretty soon a whole year of feeding 4 extra people twice a month without so much as a thank-you, never mind offering to pay or GASP .... return the favour has passed!)

I realized that when I talk to some people I can feel the life being sucked out of me.  The negativity, the championing of those who don't deserve and the never ending complaining of the unfairness of their life. Don't get me wrong, I totally vent to my friends frequently but I also take a turn being the "sounding board". It needs to be a two way street in order for people to not feel used.  The "takers" never reciprocate and its exhausting just thinking about having to talk to them (you think of every excuse possible to avoid having to talk to them!).

My personality makes it difficult for me to say NO, I'm a fixer and a pleaser.  This year I told myself that I will respect myself more and learn to say no.  This is the YEAR OF NO and baby I'm on a roll!  I'm putting more thought into my decisions and am saying yes to the things that I want to and no to the things I don't (which doesn't include those things that sound like a good idea at the time!).  I am enjoying the feeling of freedom that saying No is giving me (once the feeling of guilt is over that is).

This past week I had the pleasure of receiving a heartfelt offer of thanks, gratitude and appreciation from a friend.  Words cannot express how much I needed to hear "Thanks for all you've done for us!" last week. It's amazing how those words can warm my heart and add a bounce to my step!  She made my day!

Another goal of this year will be to show gratitude and appreciation to those who help me out in even the slightest way.  I hope that those in my life never feel "used" by me (and please tell me if you do! I will fix it!).

On that note I want to say Thanks to all those who I'm blessed to have in my life!  I'm pretty sure you know who you are!

Crazy Going Slowly Am I!

The last two weeks have definitely been crazy and challenging!  Our 16 year old has been pushing boundaries to the extreme.  As if last semester wasn't crazy enough with her not turning in ANY assignments and then been given the chance to make up the ENTIRE semester in the last week!  A phone call to the school explaining how I felt they were doing her a disservice by giving her this opportunity (anybody know of a post-secondary institution that allows students to do this?) and how it just reinforces her behavior.  I also told them that I don't think that she should be granted her credits (natural consequences) but of course they did!  I was so frustrated!  How can we teach her to be a contributing, responsible member of society if society is always bending to her!  New semester starts and here's her chance for a new start.  Well it went something like this, "I forgot it was Monday", "I have a spare (funny that's not what her schedule says, which means she broke one of the family rules - If you are going to lie, it has to be believable!)" and the best yet - "I was in class the school must be lying".  Last week she only missed 6 classes (that I know of!) so I guess that's not too bad!

The 13 year old was injured in a basketball game while we were gone and after a visit to the walk in was told "no activity" for 10-12 days which was super awesome considering I had just paid an exorbitant amount of money on a football training camp that he now CAN'T participate in!!!  A nice reprieve from the 6 days a week driving him to and from games etc but a kick in the now empty pocketbook at the same time.

Our oldest headed out of town for two weeks leaving behind her dog (her baby) and her rabbit for me to care for, with a huge list of instructions (the ultimate trust test!).  Considering how allergic I am to the rabbit I wasn't too sure how this was going to go!  The first few days the rabbit wasn't too bad (formerly known as "killer bun bun") until I texted my daughter to say we are almost of out of pellets.  Well I found out that he only gets pellets once a week, that was the end of his being nice!  I could hear him thinking every day I went in there to feed him his hay and apples, "I don't want this crap!  Where's my pellets?" as he attacked me with his claws! Return of killer bun bun!

Looks can be so deceiving!

As a foster parent there are a few things that we never say aloud (or try not to think!) and that is, "Things are going smoothly" because POOF! a bomb will drop!  Birth mom is considering moving back to the city and wants increased access to the kids!  Lucky for us we have a terrific social worker who is on the same page as me and will make decisions based on the kids' best interest.

The youngest one has taken on my saying (which I thoroughly regret saying!) and has been spending time in the "take a break" chair for announcing (with head shake and hip out) "I win, you lose" for EVERYTHING. This past week saying it full of attitude and SNOT!  We made it to this point of the winter with no major illness but it has come to an end!

Little one and I fell hard this week, fever, cough and snot!  We were one hot, sexy mess!  By the end of the week the dreaded MAN COLD had arrived with the most terrifying words to any mom and wife, "I'm sick". THE END OF THE WORLD HAS COME!!!!

Back to Reality

The return from the winter holiday is one that is always faced with trepidation!  The truth is that I missed my kids like crazy but life went on while I was gone with a few little kerfluffle's along the way!  We all survived! Some of us learned our sunscreen lesson well (didn't even look like I had gone anywhere warm!) and some of us just love sporting the red lobster/zebra stripes!

The week flew by while we were gone with many beautiful (and some not so beautiful, think mankini's, well-endowed topless ladies with questionable bottoms) sights!  Some unique ones?!

Iberostar Resorts are known for their Activity Leaders but this guy took the cake!  Introducing Lenny the Chicken who one day paraded around the beach dressed as a chicken, complete with standing on top of one of the Palapas!  We also saw him dressed as Rambo, the Terminator, a Southern Belle and Darth Vader!  Always a good laugh when Lenny was around!

We went on 2 wonderful excursions, one to Santo Domingo (bucket list item) to see where Christopher Columbus' remains are and a trip to a National Park complete with a boat ride through the Mangroves and a visit to a cave!  Each day was a long one and ended with a fabulous beverage at the Lobby Bar.

During the week I managed to read 2 of the book Club books on my list, one trashy romance (Danielle Steele is a vacation must) and started to read what I thought was a book club book only to find out it wasn't! Oh well!  What do I have to show for this - an extremely sore butt!  My butt is not used to being stationary for long periods of time!  Once my aching butt and ADHD got together I spent time wandering through the resort grounds.  In the middle there was a duck pond (for lack of a better word) with turtles, flamingos, ducks and a "killer" swan.  Any time you stopped and looked at the pond it would swim back and forth in front of you.  Reminded me of the swans at Lilac Resort that used to chase the kids down the road!

You can see it in his eyes!  Killer -  I swear!

Towel art is always a pleasant surprise when you are staying in all-inclusive and I have to say this resort was no different!  My sock monkey had to photo bomb this one, but its still my favorite!

On the Monday before our return I received a cryptic Facebook message from our 16 year old stating, "K may have cut Z's hair".  May have cut her hair? Didn't think there was any room for maneuvering in that one! You either have a haircut or you don't!  Of course knowing our scissors are kept up high and out of reach, I asked the obvious question, "Where did she get the scissors?" to which the answer was, "I think school".  Oh boy!  Just a small little blip to deal with when we get home!  The best of the week was still to come!

The last full day that we were in the Dominican we spent some time at the beach, dreaming of the next beach vacation.  

That night we took a stroll down there to get a sunset picture but of course were moving on Paul time so instead we got a lovely shot of the moon!

As we left for the airport our bus followed a large truck filled to the top with pineapples!!  We were sad to leave but excited to get home and back to routine.

Upon arrival at the airport our oldest daughter met us to give us a ride home in the swirling snow.  When I asked how bad the haircut was she replied, "It could have been worse!" and then asked if I had heard about our oldest sons antics!  Ummm, no!  What would that be?  Of course he took the opportunity of having the house to himself to invite his new girl over, who wouldn't?!  Well he is now grounded until he is 30 so he probably won't be doing that again!  And yes the haircut was THAT bad!!!

As we sadly put away all our summer wear for a few more months we are thankful for the opportunity and ability to travel, to have some lovely people to have watched kids for us and the return of a happy digestive system.

Welcome back to reality!

Roller Coaster and The Panic Sets In

The last two weeks have been a roller coaster of teenage drama that most days makes me want to climb into a blanket fort and not come out EVER!!  I remember all the drama that I caused my parents growing up (love you mom!)  but it sure doesn't make it any easier when you are in the midst of being called foul names, told that you've never done anything worthwhile for them and that they don't consider you their mother.  BREATHE and THIS TOO SHALL PASS (painfully but it will pass) has been the mantra for the last two weeks!  My mom tells me that it will get better but I tell you some days I'm not sure!  I love my children dearly and I'm sure she will grow up to be an intelligent, strong woman but like I said some days that blanket fort is calling my name!  New semester, new start next week so here's hoping it all goes uphill from here!

In three more sleeps we are leaving on our first ever warm holiday without my best friend, Stacy and her husband Hermann which makes me sad, but last week our reservation for summer camping came which makes me happy!  As we rush around making the "master schedule" for all the respite providers that are making this possible for us (thanks Marge, Rachel, Michael, Sylvia, Savannah, Lori, Annie and anyone else I may have forgotten), making sure that I have everything I need to be gone for a week (and that it weighs under 40 lbs!), groceries bought etc etc etc I begin to think of our past vacations.  Cuba last year where I was sick for most of it (then came home to puking kids), the family trip to the Dominican (where some things happened that no mom really needs to know about!) and our very first one to Cancun many years ago.  I decided that I would write about that one just to remind myself about some of the lessons I've learned along the way!

We started our trip to Cancun in the wee hours of the morning, having to be at the airport at 4 am.  Maybe drinking at the social the night before until 2 am wasn't the best idea but it was fun!  We managed to sit with our partners on the plane but not all 4 of us together!  My friend Stacy didn't realize that it wasn't me sitting in the seat in front of her but that was part of the fun!

After our otherwise uneventful flight we arrive in Cancun and wanted to hit the beach first thing.  The bottle of sunscreen says "Apply generously before sun exposure".  Of course I did exactly that!  My significant other laughed at me.  He had no idea that I would have the last laugh!  There we are sitting on the beach with a tropical bevy in hand, sun in the sky - what more could we ask for?!  All was good until he stood up and I just about peed my pants or swimsuit in this case (really wish digital was in for that trip!).  As he stood up the rolls on his tummy straightened up and he looked like a cross between a lobster and a zebra!  Bright white lines where his rolls were!

What the bottle doesn't say is "Apply generously and evenly!"  A lesson that I apparently need to learn! Check out that nice white spot!  Lesson learned!

I'm off to do some more packing!  Here's hoping that it all fits in the suitcase!

What a crappy week (literally!)

Another week has flown by!  Two kids to the Dr's, took my mom to the Dr. and a trip to the Dr. for me sums up the appointments for the week!  Volunteered in the kids school for 3 half days and a full day track meet, long conversation with school social worker as well as a teacher (Natural Consequences, I say)!  A night with friends card-making, basketball practices/games, Guide/Pathfinder meeting, a night on the bus driving 9 teenage girls all over the city for fun followed by an all day Girl Guide Council meeting but the most memorable day ever was of course the "shitty" day!

Thursday was going to be a hectic day and I knew it!  First school pick up, second school pick up and home we go, unload and into the house we go when a little voice says, "Mommy where's Z?" Back in the truck, drive around the corner to the daycare and pick up Z who of course hasn't pooped yet, back home and to the potty we go.  In the kitchen starting supper, listening to home reading when I hear, "Mommy come wipe my bum?" to which I say, "In a minute!"  Literally a minute later I came around the corner and just about threw up!  There is our 3 year old who had indeed pooped but it was everywhere!  In her hair, nose, ears, from her elbow to the tips of her fingers, the wall (apparently she needed to lean on it!) anywhere else she could touch within a 3 foot radius. It had been a few days since she had done that so I had my fingers crossed that it wasn't going to happen again.  Off to the bath we went, where the screaming began!  Z screaming because she didn't want a bath and me screaming at J to stir supper so it wouldn't burn because we had 7 minutes to get out the door to his basketball game! Scrub A Dub Dub!  We made it to the game on time, without burning supper!

After the game I quickly went home to pick up my supper, drop J off before heading off to work!  When I arrived at work something was smelling a little funky to say the least.  When I asked if everything was OK all my co-worker had to do was look at me for me to know that I was going to be taking one for the team! There was a major clean up to be done!  Enter the double gloved, shirt over the nose improvised Hazmat suit with disinfectant!   After work I headed home and as I entered the house the dog came running over and started to lick my pant leg.  I looked down to see a smear of poop on my pants!!! OMG!  First thought? Was this poop from home and I went to a basketball game with poop on my leg or was this work poop?  Second thought - Oh No my new pants!

All in a day at the Funny Farm!

Tooth Fairy Drama

Well it has definitely been a week that I have to remind myself that I love my children!!!  So glad the week is over!

Three of our kids have been to the dentist in the last 2 weeks (one of them twice!) which led me to think about the beginning of the Tooth Fairy Saga.  It all started back in February 2013 when while chewing on a dog toy K "lost" her first tooth.  With many tears and lots of blood (and her brother puking behind me while trying to calm her!) we came to the conclusion that she must have swallowed her tooth!  She was a bit traumatized about the whole experience!  To add to the trauma one of the other kids told her (kind souls that they are!) that the Tooth Fairy wasn't going to come because we couldn't find the tooth!

Fast forward a few months and she has been hanging onto a loose tooth for weeks (no way that tooth is coming out!).  We are in Minneapolis for a family vacation (more like one of those - get in the car, sit down, be quiet, we are going to have FUN trips) and are checking out the Peeps store when all of a sudden I hear a scream!  The tooth has come out and she is standing there holding it!  We are so excited!  We tell her the Tooth Fairy is going to come if she puts the tooth under her pillow, which didn't go over so well!  Since we were at a hotel we decided not to push it, instead I put it in my wallet and held onto it thinking that maybe next time she looses a tooth we can put that one under the pillow too!

I held onto that tooth for 4 months before the next tooth trauma started.  Her tooth was so loose and she was refusing to eat etc etc etc!  Absolute craziness!  One night at supper she bit on the wrong side (in her excitement for tacos!) and there was blood on the taco.  Everybody around the table stopped to see what her reaction was going to be but she didn't react!!! PHEW crisis averted!  Until the oldest of the group looks at her and says, "Is that blood on your taco?"  Well that's it!  Game over, can't finish eating now!

Every time I asked to look at her tooth she would say, "Don't pull it out!".  This went on for a few weeks when finally one day I reached in and yanked it out!  No blood, no pain, done!  I had no idea what I had just started!!

Let the negotiations begin!  First rounds we just suggested that she put the teeth under her pillow.  Very loud reply, "I DON'T WANT NO FAIRY SNEAKING INTO MY ROOM!" OK so no teeth under the pillow!  Next step - the mailbox?  The response,  "That's right outside my bedroom window!"  Okie Dokie, next?  How about putting the tooth into an envelope and putting it on the dining room table?  "The Tooth Fairy comes into the house? NO!"  We finally convinced her (with the help of our Monday night daughter) that we could put the teeth in an envelope and put it by the back door, "that way the fairy doesn't have to come into the house, she can just reach in and grab it".  PHEW, another crisis averted!  All was good until 4:30 am when she came up the stairs screaming, "I changed my mind!  I don't want the fairy to come!".  We headed downstairs to see if the Tooth Fairy had come and she had!!!  She was very happy with the two loonies that was left but all she could say was, "The Tooth Fairy doesn't have to come again, right mommy?" Oh well maybe next time!

Fast forward to this week and another tooth falls out, very calmly she gets an envelope, puts the tooth in it and leaves it by the back door.  All done!  She has come so far in the last year!!

Next stop the dental specialist where as the dentist put it "they will have to take 2 teeth out" so glad that he said it in front of her!  It was like verbal diarrhea, "How are they going to take my teeth out?  Why?  What do they do with the teeth after they take them out?  Will I have to have a needle when they take them out?  What do you mean take my teeth out?  Can I have pizza for supper?"  Yep that's how conversations roll in our house!

Til next time!

Christmas 2013 Bus Ride

Many people have heard my stories about my grandma but for those of you who haven't heard them let me start by describing my grandma to you.  When people talk about grandma's in general, many have visions of sweet little old ladies who bake cookies and play bridge.  REALITY CHECK! My grandma is 4'8" tall, 80 lbs (sopping wet!) and swears like a sailor (with a British accent to boot!).  She is very old fashioned (when it comes to "those" people), she talks about body parts that no grandchild should every hear about and has not a G rated bone in her body!  We love her dearly!  

In the spring of 2013 she had one of her legs amputated just under the knee.  She spent many weeks in the hospital with me (aka "the cranky granddaughter", "the boss") visiting as much as possible which sometimes was not enough!  Although she did mellow out a little bit after they realized that she was a heavy smoker prior to being admitted (and put her on her "anti cranky patch" as she called it!), she was still a spitfire!  This life-changing event meant that she could no longer live on her own and thus began the process of moving into a nursing home.  When she did move into the home she was not impressed with the ratio of men (12) to women (85) but figured that she had a pretty good chance of meeting Mr. Right with her charm and wit!  I will save those stories for a later date!

The week before Christmas I went to the nursing home for a visit (to ease my guilt of not having been in a few weeks).  I was wearing my new winter scarf that I had fallen in love with.  It had 3 snowmen on it and when you pushed the button it sang and lit up to the beat of the music.  I showed my grandma how you squeezed the button and off it went!  OMG!  She laughed, the deep belly laugh that I have never heard before!  She laughed until the tears rolled down her cheeks!  What a glorious moment!  I apologized to the staff as I left that day, as I left the scarf in my grandma's hands!  One of the reasons for going was to explain to her that the following week I was going to borrow the bus from work and take her to see the Christmas lights.  She of course said she didn't want to go see the lights but changed her tune when I told her that my dad (her Teddy) was going to be there!  She wasn't sure if she would be "allowed" to go but I told her that wouldn't be a problem (the staff/residents would probably appreciate the break).

I phoned the home the day of to remind them of us coming and found out that my grandma was refusing to go.  I said that we will come and see what we can do!  When we arrived she was for sure in a tizzy but my mom and I convinced her to go!  As we came out of the nursing home and started towards the bus my grandma piped up, "What the hell is that?" and I replied that it was a wheelchair bus.  She looked at me and said, "Who the hell is going to drive that?"  I explained to her that I was going to drive it.  She looked at me like I had 2 heads and exclaimed, "God help me!"  After we loaded her onto the bus, off we went!  The whole gang had a great time!  When we dropped her off my mom said, "Isn't Tamara a good driver?" and she actually agreed! It was a great way to spend time with her (whether she liked it or not!).

 

Love this woman!

The Whole Fam Jam including grandparents and the Monday Night Daughter

What a wonderful way to kick off the holidays!

Welcome to "Daily Life At The Funny Farm"

So here goes!  My first ever blog post!  This is an adventure that I decided to embark on for the year I turn 40!

As many of you know my life can be a little crazy!  Our 6 kids keep me hopping!  Right now our 3 1/2 year old is the most stubborn child on the face of the earth when it comes to potty training!  She spends hours in a day sitting on the potty waiting for the elusive "poop".  You see we were pretty much potty trained in September and started pre-school, had a great time and then regressed!  This soon became our life!  This week she has had a few comments that have made me leave the room to avoid laughing in front of her which of course would just encourage her!  Sitting on the potty and out of the blue she states, "This is useless you know.  I am NOT going to poop on this potty".  Good to know where we stand on this topic!!

Our 6 year old has recently discovered her love of Thrift Stores!  She comes home weekly with her treasures that she has found with her respite worker.  This weeks find; a dog purse (which is half the size of her), a monster truck minus the remote and a bikini top.  What do these three things have in common?  We have no idea but "they're cool, right mom?"  Who could argue with that!?

The 10 year old has discovered Skip Bo and Solitaire recently.  The entire family tries to avoid him as soon as they see him coming with a deck of cards!  That game lasts forever!  Brings back memories of the group home that I used to work at when my entire shift would be spent playing Skip Bo (I always lost!). Those were the good old days!

The Basketball season is in full force with 3 practices and 2 games a week (between league and school) which makes for a little more shuffling in the house.  Add in the "Can I go to the Y?",  which usually ends up being a 9 hour day ending with "Can you pick me (and 2 of my friends up) up?" after I have my p.j.'s on!  Really wish this one would ride the bus (or the Loser Cruiser as he calls it) more often!

We welcomed back our wonderful cleaning lady this week after a few months hiatus (felt really sorry for her for having to clean that up!). One happy Momma in the clean shower this morning!

The dog only peed on the floor twice this week, only one epic failure in the cooking department (nobody said I had to be a good cook!), the craft room (aka crap room) is clean (there is a table in there!) and scrapbooking with Tannis tonight!  All round a great week!